The End of Season Sack Race
So it’s the end of
the football season and as usual it is met with the usual banal clearout of
crap managers from relegated and badly performing Premiership clubs alike.
It is interesting to note that in most cases, with
Stuart Pearce being the latest example, sacked football managers
leave in generally amicable, good-natured terms. The sacking is usually
reported at the press conference with the chairman invariably thanking the
disposed boss in question for their hard work, and often for their
positive effect during their tenure.
Well, if this were true, why would you be sacking them?
People sacked in real jobs would usually be marched out of the door and
ordered to return the stolen pens before
the police get involved. Football (or sport in general) may just be the only
circumstance where a sacking is not a personal disgrace to the unfortunate
recipient. Sometimes chairmen will go as far as to mask the truth by
suggesting the sacking was “mutual consent”.
What they actually mean is probably “thanks for taking £50,000 of money the
club hasn’t got every week, well worth the two whole goals we scored in the
whole of 2007 at home”.
Meanwhile, Paul “Jewels” was said by
Wigan chairman Dave “Tevez” Whelan to
have quit as Wigan manager due to the impact of the relegation
battle
on his “health” and “personal life”. You can see it right now can’t you?
Personal Life:
Jewels’ Wife: What the hell kind of a
performance do you call that?
Jewels:
If you don’t shut up I’ll make you shut up.
Health:
Jewels:
I have this pain, doctor, in my upper back.
Doctor:
Probably because you’re such a bad manager.