Entry 2: Colonel Sprout's Finance
Earlier
on I took a hike up towards that great metropolis
on the horizon that seems to have sprung up on us almost overnight. It seems
that Ketsbaia is now some kind of tax haven,
which kind of makes sense as the island’s benevolent ruler
Colonel Sprout, who the people love and no
one would dream of arguing with under any circumstances, is a founding
member of Sprout Finance. Even though he
rules with an iron fist, I think that Colonel Sprout is a corporate logo and
not a real person; he’s never been seen in public, but it’s probably best
that no one else thinks this, as there might just be uproar if they did.
I made a packet selling things I found washed up on the shore to local folk.
On one secluded edge of the island, down a sharp
chasm, precious items are often washed ashore. Examples of things
I have found down there include a diamond necklace,
a sack of soggy potatoes, some broken glass, and something else quite sharp,
which I managed to cut myself on. Still, the necklace was a good find. That
part of the island is usually guarded by this friendly pirate type
chap,
strafing intermittently through the undergrowth, but he wasn’t there when I
was down there earlier. He’s usually sort of okay, when he’s
too drunk to swear that is.
While in town I decided I would pop in to Sprout Finance to enquire about
their investment opportunities. Thirty minutes later and I left with a smile
on my face and my cash tied up in something called
Colonel Sprout’s Super High Yield Premium Blackberry Hedge Fund Limited.
I don’t really know what this is but I know it’s preferable to have this
than be on the business end of the Colonel’s cutlass.