Week 8 - Promotion already!
"Hello
everyone. Well it’s the New Year, which can only mean one thing. That’s
right, cue drum roll, staff appraisals!
The time of the year where all those slackers get
what’s coming.
More importantly, though, I got a promotion, and of course a massive pay
rise! 4.1 percent, which is a full percent more
than inflation. Even though I’ve only been on the team for such a
small amount of time really, I’ve been fast-tracked ahead of Malcolm, Sandra
and lovely Sharon.
They’re really rewarding members of the team responsible for our
record performance over the last fiscal. So
technically, they all report to me now, even though they’ve been with the
bank much longer. I was also told I’d been
ear-marked for a junior managerial role, so this time next year I
might be speaking to you as a bone-fide manager!
Left: Appraisal, one of the six key components of any enriched lifestyle
Those fools who don’t put in the work look pretty silly after their appraisals. I don’t understand how they think they’ll be promoted and get pay rises the way most of them carry on.
Almost
the whole office was off sick on Monday morning. Turns out that the elite
Italian coffee shop next door, which we all frequent for our fix of
caffeine, sold us a dodgy batch of cinnamon latte’s
on the Friday, and most of my co-workers have been bed ridden all weekend.
Although I have to say that all the lazy people from the next table down
were off, which was very convenient given that it was their appraisal day.
I felt fine and I had a latte, but then I also received
a glowing appraisal."